The secret to sustainable habits – find the pull

I have talked about why willpower isn’t the answer to sustainable change and for this post, we’re going deeper: why change only sticks when it comes from a pull, not a push.

Pain may start your motivation, but it doesn’t last. We naturally move away from pain (push) and toward pleasure (pull), and lasting change comes from moving toward something you genuinely want or find pleasurable.

What a pull actually looks like in real life:

A pull isn’t a rule, a plan, or something you should do. It’s a felt experience you want more of.

It might look like:

• Having steady energy from morning to evening – no crashes, no white-knuckling
• Being calmer and more present with your kids instead of reactive and exhausted
• Waking up clear-headed rather than foggy, rushed, or behind before the day starts
• Feeling strong, comfortable, and at home in your body – not constantly managing it

This is the difference between trying (push) to change and wanting (pull) to live a certain way.

When your “why” becomes part of how you see yourself, your identity, your behaviour stops feeling forced. You don’t rely on willpower, you act in alignment with who you believe you are.

Read “How I changed my binge eating relationship with food and why willpower wan’t the key” example to understand a pull verses push.

If you want support uncovering your pull factors and build habits that stick, reach out to me for a chat. Get in touch